I know I'm a little late on the topic with SAHDs and SAHMs, but please stick with me.
Since much of this class has been focused on females, without further adieu, I would like to introduce you all to CT Fletcher!
Watch the first three minutes of this video
He is a six time all natural world champion weightlifter. In 1992 he set the world record for strict bicep curl at 102 kilograms or 225 lbs. It's not the all-time world record because this was in a natural competition, so no steroids were used. He still holds this record.
(No citation can be added because this is something he has claimed on his youtube channel, but that video has since been removed. This was verified on wiki answers if that counts for anything)
CT is like the personal trainer version of Samuel L. Jackson, and I bring him up because he is the definition of masculinity to me. When I first heard a scholarly voice say that stay at home dads are looked at in a positive light, I tried to picture CT Fletcher at home changing his kids' diapers, doing laundry and cooking dinner with an apron on, but I couldn't do it. When I put masculinity and domestic dads together, the combination just doesn't work in my mind. I can't picture myself as a man allowing my wife to be the primary breadwinner for my family. But I would like to pose some open questions: what image comes to your mind when you hear the term "stay at home dad"? And: do you think CT Fletcher (or a CT equivalent) would ever voluntarily be a stay at home dad?
P.S. I would highly recommend watching the rest of that video and the others he has on his channel if you're looking for a source of motivation to get into the gym
Sure, when I picture a stay at home dad, I picture someone who chooses khaki pants and loafers, paired with a freshly ironed oxford or sweater-- a clean-cut, well-spoken, kind-hearted father who gives his children 100% of his attention, or at least when he's not cooking/cleaning. But then I picture my boyfriend's father, a musician who pretty much defies every single one of these pre-conceived notions of a SAHD. He's a little rough around the edges, but he plays 10 instruments (all self taught), speaks 4 languages (2 self-taught), cooks a mean lasagna that would make any italian swoon, and folds laundry so crisply that you could wear a shirt 3 times and the creases would still show. Additionally, I've never met someone who has challenged my own beliefs of society, politics and religion at the dinner table. What I mean by all of this is that stay at home dads come in all shapes and sizes, from macho to wimpy, intellectual to musically-inclined to athletic and who knows what else. While I think masculinity (or lack thereof) often plays a big role in our conceptions of what a SAHD looks like, we must not forget that Dads are Dads, and staying home is a choice that is not inherently linked to masculinity.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to Cassandra, I don’t disagree with you that my image of a SAHD is about as far from CT Fletcher as one can get. When discussing gender roles, though, I think that – instead of asking, “Can we see CT as a SAHD?” – we should be asking, “Why can’t some men, like perhaps CT, see themselves as SAHDs?” I don’t know if stay-at-home dads are as championed for breaking gender roles as much as they are for rethinking them. The construction of gender roles over time has the potential to limit or stifle certain populations who wish to defy such social norms; so while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stick to conventional codes of masculinity, we must consider how alternative lifestyles lose privilege in society by not conforming to them.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I absolutely believe that being the natural world champion weightlifter and also wanting to be a stay at home dad can go hand-in-hand. It may not be what’s presumed…but I think we should strive as a society to accept that as a possibility and not automatically implausible.