I grew up in a pretty atypical household, constantly speaking 3 languages--well, 2 fluently, but with a pretty good grasp of the third. My mother and father grew up in two entirely different European cultures, one which promotes creativity, the arts, love and a free-spirit, the other valuing punctuality, kindness & respect, loyalty and structure. I consider myself an amalgamation of the both. But I wasn't born in Europe. So technically I'm an American?
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It's really hard to say. Sure, my passport is blue. But I have a red one, too. I flash the blue one almost always, unless I'm entering Italy or Germany. Though, my passport isn't the only thing that changes as I cross the Italian or German borders. An entirely different person comes to life! In Germany I must be careful to walk with good posture, to never forget to use the formal verb forms around adults, to avoid senseless smalltalk, and drink beer with dinner. In Italy, I must kiss everyone on the cheek and show genuine affection (even to strangers), drink wine late into the evening with my grandmother discussing Renaissance Art, and spend 8 hours in the kitchen the next day making original pasta and pasta sauce for dinner. And while I love every bit of all these things, I never can be all of them at once.
In Italy I can't mention that I'm half German. And the reverse is the same in Germany. But the Germans won't let me claim my German heritage entirely either, citing that I'll never be able 'to get rid of the American' in me, despite my fluency and perfect German accent, extensive knowledge of culture, and having lived there multiple times.
Growing up in America, my friends found it weird that I drank carbonated water (sometimes in my apple juice), pronounced 'Kindergarten' differently (despite how hard I tried at age 5), and that for the first day of school, all through 8th grade, I received a Zuckertüte for good luck and well wishes from my Dad.
Basically, from an early age I was taught to be a certain way in each setting, and I simply accepted it. Now, it sometimes annoys me when my German friends call me an "Ami" [short for Amerikanerin] or my Italian family consider me 'too uptight' (troppo tesa). And of course, the most frustrating of all is/was having to listen to any derogatory 'Nazi' parallels (mostly during middle school) when I speak/spoke to my father on the phone.
At different points in my life, I've had to cover to be accepted, and not based on my skin color or my religion. But, often I've tried hard simply just to 'pass' whenever I could, especially in America. Now that I'm older and I embrace all three backgrounds, I find myself forced to cover anyway for the sake of pleasing my parents.
Interestingly enough, my sister, who is only 3 years younger, chose to learn all three languages, but speak only with an American accent. She refuses European fashion, turns her nose up at traditional German food, and is more interested in Kimye's new baby than any work of Michaelangelo's-- much to my mom & dad's dismay.
I admire her for being true to herself, but is her unwillingness to cover her American identity hindering her from embracing 2/3 of our culture? Can this be considered covering, passing, both or none?
My situation seems more clear cut, but in my sister's case, I'm just not so sure.
Furthermore, after reading Kenji Yoshino's 'Covering', I'm faced with the following question:
Would Yoshino consider me a German-Italian-American, or would I have to choose 1 of the 3 based on my circumstances (i.e. location)?
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