The institution of marriage has been discussed in class and
in readings with a large focus on financial responsibilities and how they drive
decision making within a marriage.
A noteworthy strategy to consider is planning ahead via pre-nuptial
agreements. A pre-nuptial
agreement is used to align financial obligations and division of finances at
divorce or death. In the United
States, 5% of all marriages use a pre-nuptial agreement, however, 20% of all
second and subsequent marriages are based on this. With international divorce rates at high levels, pre-marital
agreements should be given more serious concern.
Pre-marital agreements have always carried a negative
stigma. However merited this may
be, I ask you to think of prenups in a more positive light. Let’s look at the facts…what happens
with finances in the event of a divorce?
- Finances will have to be stetched to maintain two separate households.
- The spouse who takes primary responsibility of the children will be burdened financially as a result of extra costs and less time available to work.
- Upon reentry into the workforce, a previous stay-at home parent will likely suffer underemployment.
Rather than a cutthroat attempt at fighting for what’s mine
is mine, a pre-nuptial agreement can be regarded as a time to create a clear
expectation of future finances. To
appropriately initiate such a contract, it must be considered with ample time
before the wedding with fairness, full disclosure, and legal counsel to both
parties (both together and independent).
The Equality in Marriage Institute suggests discussing the following
topics with a spouse:
- Assets, income and expected inheritances.
- How premarital debts will be paid.
- Premarital property in the event of death or divorce.
- Who will own the marital residence.
- Alimony and child support at a time of divorce should be discussed.
- Death benefits
- Health, life and other insurances.
In sharing these expectations, a couple can help communication
and allow partners to establish what they expect during and after marriage. As the Equality of in Marriage Institute put it, "a relationship built on
reality is stronger than a relationship built on illusion."
By changing the stigma of pre-nuptial agreements, adults can
enter into a marriage knowing that his or her affairs are in order. What do you think? Do pre-nuptial agreements undermine the
institution of marriage? Or is it
possible that such an agreement could actually strengthen marriage out of the
contentness of being prepared?
Personally speaking…I’m a hopeless romantic, so I’m doomed regardless.
Some food for thought:
Space_Cowboy, I think that you bring up some very interesting points. What do you think accounts for the 15% increase in pre-nuptial agreements for second marriages? If logic holds that repetition produces excellence, should this statistic lead us to believe that prenuptial agreements are in fact best for a marriage? Perhaps the second time around, a pre-nuptial agreement is viewed as a solution to prevent another divorce. Even if prenuptial agreements are prevalent amongst those remarrying, one could argue that people who are divorced do not truly understand marriage and therefore would push for an ill-advised prenuptial agreement the second time around.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the reasons you presented I have begun to reassess my views about pre-nuptial agreements. The agreements seem to organize finances thereby strengthening communication and fostering openness between partners. Although advocating this sort of agreement seems logical, we must remember that love is not logic. Love is chaotic and unplanned, thereby marginalizing the validity of any sort of logical agreement. Although I do not think that these agreements undermine the institution of marriage, I believe that common misconceptions --“The signing of a pre-nuptial agreement is akin to thinking about a worse-case scenario from the very beginning” -- have taken root in society. Love and finances are difficult separately; the mixing of these two elements is even more complicated, with or without a plan. Ultimately, the circumstances that surround relationships are vastly different and a pre-nuptial agreement may be better for some relationships than others.
As I was reading this post I was thinking about how marriage has become about love and companionship. I was thinking that if people acknowledge the likelihood of divorce with a prenup (isn’t the divorce rate around 50%?) then they are undermining the rational and validity of love in marriage. My thoughts were exactly what you, Arnold, mentioned as a misconception: “The signing of a pre-nuptial agreement is akin to thinking about a worse-case scenario from the very beginning.”
ReplyDeleteRegardless of whether or not prenups undermine or strengthen marriage, I do think they should be more widely used. If marriage is an institution propped up by the government and society, then individuals entering into marriage contracts should be more rational – for lack of better words – going into the partnership.